Tomorrow is the 11th of September, and I’m aware that it’s the 10 year anniversary of the Two Towers being destroyed and lots of people being killed from all the stuff on the web. My partner and I got annoyed about this because there was so much talk on the media about it,we thought it was yesterday. Such is the confusion of living in this disconnected culture. But I don’t feel it, as I didn’t feel the event when it happened. Sure, my mother had the TV on and I saw some of the repeated telecasts with the footage of the planes ramming into the towers and the falling people.
When 9/11 happened, my guy had finally gone into a rehab for multiple drug addiction, and I’d been late to a Chi Nei Tsang massage intensive at Harbin Hot Springs because of him being so afraid and dragging his feet to go when he should have. Because of being late, I only got half credit on the intensive, which was a requirement I had to take over later. 9-11 happened while he was in the rehab. Ten years later, I’m better off in some ways and still missing a lot of what I need to sustain my life.
9-11 to me was only another surreal thing I couldn’t feel because I had already failed at getting my life together in the ways expected. I didn’t have the personal illusion of security apparently a great many people in America did. More importantly, I did not have the trust of either our government or the world many had. This does not mean I didn’t care about the pain, suffering, death and loss of so many people
Since we are living with constant predictions of doom and end of the world events, I’m still confused by the heartbreak over 9-11. But then nobody I knew or loved died in it.