On Being a Swine and Bellydancing Hardwear

At 201 lbs, I’m downright swinish, which I personally define as being shaped like a pig. Or a dirigible, more commonly  known as a BLIMP.  Mind you, I could be larger and heavier than I am,( as many people are!)  and I thank the goddess I am not, AND that I’m not  in pain constantly  and am still able to walk and stand.

This does not mean I  feel all the good about having no waistline and a ballooned ass,  never being able to wear anything that isn’t stretchy on the lower 40, and having to wear men’s  sized large T shirts to cover all the jutting bulge shelves I’m carrying in up front. I’m blubber city, I have joint problems, fatigue and health worries so let’s get real here: FAT and TOXIC, being BIG AIN”T FUN.  I’ve got the ham sized upper  arms and they hang and ripple like ocean waves when I’m drumming.

The good news is that I can still bellydance and I’m actually getting better at it, swinehood notwithstanding.  And I’m now quite comfortable decking myself out in the requisite bellydancing happy swine queen hardwear: I have 8 charming rings for my fingers, bracelets, dangle-y  earrings, a few necklaces, and silk flowers on clips for my hair.  I need a new coin belt of my very own, but the other  things  I’ve been talking about actually now make me feel more like a bellydancer when I put them on  before I bellydance in class.

I remember when I started how ridiculous and uncomfortable they seemed, garish, childish, somehow improper. I felt like a fat girl wearing christmas ornaments out of season. Overdressed. But I suspect it’s because I love my teacher and her style is one of color and heart and permissiveness to be oneself, even though I get tired of her yacking at me about how I need to keep my shoulders down when doing snake arms. I got all testy and defensive with her tonight because she’s losing weight and her upper arms aren’t as big as mine. So I wasn’t in the mood to be corrected about anything, being jealous.

I actually love my rings, bracelets, earring and flowers now, enjoy wearing them, feel attractive and myself in them, fat or not. So that’s Mrs. Happy bejeweled swine queen to you.

About Shirley

I started this blog to expand and explore my rhythm horizons as a hand drummer. That exploration includes touching on the rest of my life and inner world as authentically and truthfully as possible.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *