Today I got the federal case putdown, the massive rebuke for not putting away the milk. I did not swallow this for once, remarked that the condemning party often leaves things out, and got the “shut up” and angry denial of what I said when in fact it is absolutely true. Lately, he’s been putting dishes in the sink, cooking, and even putting some things away here and there, but that is a brand new thing. Mostly he has NEVER put anything away and lived like a hog in slop while he treats me like an incompetent house slave who never does her job well enough.
Most recently I read that some parents project unwanted, disowned parts of themselves on their children and treat them accordingly, which is very bad and does a lot of harm. And I am quite sure males project on women a great deal, and the more abused and traumatized they are, the more punishing and hateful they are to the women around them. Women are, after all, considered “the weaker sex” AND women are, in many traumatized, fatherless male minds horrible “all powerful” evil witches at the same time. Can’t win for losing on that one in a racist, misogynist, sexist, classist, rape culture.
We are so handy for blaming, because 99% of everything is about the collective denial of/splitting off of reality about human vulnerability. We have been groomed for centuries for the job of all purpose bad projection unit and scapegoat. And we women are used to doing it to each other and ourselves, so it seems normal even though it is barbaric and harms everyone. Thank you Phyllis Chesler for examining it and writing about it.
I have never understood the rampant ability of so many human beings to forget this when they decide to have children. We have the mindset of a bygone era which is rapidly getting more and more obsolete and pointless by the day. The sad thing is, it’s not just girls that are hampered and ill equipped to cope with our current reality regarding power and safety. Boys by the droves are very unprotected and lost also. Predatory people do well in times of blind ignorance and rampant denial. They have plenty of people to prey on.